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Artificial Soul

by Lavair

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1.
Have I Lost your love Lost it all Could you tell me? I Want to trust Want to call When I begin to think that we were never meant to be I just can't help but question if I've been allowed to help you anyway Before you answer me, know that there's still a chance that this might last And even if you sever our connection, love, I'll come right back I stay up every night Call you to hear you cry We've hurt each other but you're still my baby Feels like we've grown apart Ripped right out from my heart Somehow I tell myself you're still my baby At 4 AM you really tried to call me on the phone? I told you that I desperately desired greater time to call my own But I remind myself of how it felt to keep you in my arms And certainly, I'd sacrifice myself to keep you from light harm No matter what it costs I'd fall upon the rocks Just to maintain the fact you'll be my baby You've been so good to me And so resiliently Yes I rely on you, I need my Have I Lost your love Lost it all Could you tell me? I Want to trust Want to call
2.
You All Know 05:04
The words that come out of my mouth are pure and exciting What I want you to think You would not believe the thoughts I had to drown just to fight it They slither out the creek What you need is so attainable, but we're low on our supply I guess the best got swept up And I would like to think I'm different from the rest, not fall in line But I'm not trying hard enough You need it I want it But I am Dishonest And I think deep down inside, you all know I'm pretty sure I've done this right And I could be your shining knight But my discretion's not airtight And you can see through second sight That maybe I'm a bird of prey I wait for you to breakaway To trap you in a Faraday But I find that so hard to say I've yet to fully understand If a bad man would try so hard to be grand A stranger to a high degree I have no clue what rests inside of me You need it I want it But I am Dishonest And I think deep down inside, you all know
3.
Lyresong 04:29
Morning, but the sky's still dark I am succumbing to the cold I hear the sunlight pouring through my window And it's a reminder I'm not alone You say "sorry" so I laugh, feign anger There's no room for another apologist And you reveal that a letter's in the mail And I tell you I cannot wait to receive it (So come back to me!) It's been a few days Can't help but wonder Whatever happened to My little bear On the train Your head on my shoulder And I'm so endlessly thankful you are tall enough for me I'm still in disbelief that I've found you at all You don't have to tell me I already know Some days are going to be harder than others And you're going to break it The process is slow, but One day we'll finally have each other Don't let me rely on former friends Who hate so profusely because they can The truth is I side with you, since I I want to be a different man
4.
5.
Made It 05:11
How long has it been between When we met incidentally And the day from recently You said that you had ran to me You have come so far since then You felt you couldn't pass with men But we don't have to twist and bend Except when you're around your friends They say "Your pics are something I forgo" And "Where's that hot tomboy friend that I know?" "You've changed so much I can't take it" I think that's just 'cus you made it Wasn't it just three years or so I would've cut and let you go Now I'm so disgusted by The other guys, and they don't know There's something special about you, dear You said you've lost you closest peers And I'm afraid that I know why You got too hot, they run from fear Your shape is slimming, hair gets long It's what you've needed all along And those you know could not have guessed They couldn't handle you at your best Your new folks will realize that you've made it Oh my darling, how you're changing They weren't chasers after all You are free of all these liars You have made it, so stand tall Oh my darling, how you're changing They weren't chasers after all You are free of all these liars You have made it, so stand tall
6.
Waking up, blinding lights Day's already on its decline Clenching fist, futile shout Is there any point getting out? A perfect world stays up late Gets up early to cultivate Fossilized, that I am At the mercy of hungry land To keep me here That's why they say I'm an animal They watch with their cameras They say it's undoubtable They know what the answer is I don't wanna talk about How hard it has been for me To sing my best song aloud I best stay in entropy I just don't want (that's the problem, isn't it?) I'll be okay in time I'll be okay with time Notes and chords, melodies Tend to come and go with great ease On the phone, 2 AM Four ears from below perk up then Sterner talking-tos, some through text Don't do anything, what comes next? Waking up, blinding lights Day's already on its decline Fossilized I'll be okay in time I'll be okay with time I'll be okay in time I'll be okay with time There is no longer time for you Nobody makes that time for you
7.
Shimmer 04:28
They're bouncing off of you Every living thing's deflected Watching helplessly It's been an honor to Be within your shimmering Mutations constantly Every day's a little different Still life shifting eyes Keep single file, please Everyone maintain your distance No one wants to galvanize You're never not disrupted And all they want is one touch I'm always there beside them I promise not too much
8.
When the road stops humming You feel the sinister depth of great silence When your brain gets nothing It starts making interpretations Where dark is only the truest I can now see the glimmer of my end How could someone just assume it Oh, I thought that I outgrew this But something's in the dark I could've sworn that I saw you But when I shifted my gaze, you were not there What kind of tormentor are you? Or do we all want to get along here? When I tried to confront it I was brushed off the shoulder, easily Don't know what's real and what isn't Oh, I still don't want to admit it But something's in the dark
9.
Regardless on whether the grid has an even or odd amount of shaded cells We can show the unshaded cells directly gained from the shadeds (before regarding connectivity) will always be an even total It will be 4n - (n^2/4+ total grid penalties)/penalties applied to the perimeter only Maths aside, important part is that this will always be even Now lets calculate how much borders in the grid will be passed through The total amount of borders passed through will be: total grid penalties*(total shadeds against a border -1)/4 Hmmm, how do we find the total of shadeds against a border though This is actually known Penalty shows us that it will always be: (total shadeds-total regions -2 +(2ceilR/2 * 2ceilC/2)+(R-1) +(C-1))+1 You may recognise the end of that equation there We can now ram these equations up against each other and simplify it all I'm no maths whiz so ill just spit out Agnomy's result (total shadeds-total regions -2 +(2ceilR/2 * 2ceilC/2)+(R-1) +(C-1)/4n*n^2)+1 + total perimeter penalties *2 Aka "blah blah blah times 2" So it's even So what does this mean exactly? It means we cant have a situation in the grid where we make a chain link (area where the dominos of located cells overlap) shaded Because even though we may situationally be able to avoid a contradiction there It will axiomatically lead to an impossibility later on somewhere, or would imply that the grid does not contain symmetric regions When I read this, it kinda blew my mind
10.
An Offer 07:06
What can we gain from discussing the overhead weather? What causes the differences in pressure? Is it man or machine that moves the winds for a feather? I want to talk to whatever brought us together I can't imagine you're here of your volition This is some kind of cruel submission And obviously you are trying to start a war of attrition Since you dress just to win a competition No, your time is up You don't have to bother No one takes me up 'Cus I have nothing to offer I see again Another end For you and me in correspondence What happens then? I could pretend That it's what I've always wanted But I could not lie to you So make sure to not misconstrue That despite your past of affection I swear, you're running in the wrong direction No, your time is up You don't have to bother No one takes me up (why?) 'Cus I have nothing to offer (I can shout! So loud! I'm shouting! Shout!) Aprillia Take the picture down That should have been just for me Who took you away? Let me talk to them I need you to stay

about

This is my third album, Artificial Soul. It's meant to be more accessible than my previous work, and not so dependent on being a cohesive experience. Just a batch of decent songs. I'm not super happy with a lot of it, but I'm relieved to finally put it out into the world.

Thank you to Shye, who put up with all of my nagging about sudoku and chess, and who helped rekindle my inspiration when all I wanted to do was nothing. You are a beautifully true friend. Thank you to Lucie, who lent her voice to a song that got cut from the album, but still felt glad to contribute. Your kind words mean magnitudes. Thank you to Sophia, Ruke, Angela, Rick, Forrest, Harold, Adrian, Dani, Robert, and anyone else who talked to me about music production while I was working on this. All of you helped me remember why it is I make music in the first place.

Thank you for listening. I'll be back soon.

credits

released March 5, 2021

David Longstreth, Teresa Eggers - writers on track 3
Shye - writer, sound design mastery on track 9
Lavair - everything else

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Lavair Seattle, Washington

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